Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
