Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
