in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
