Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
