Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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