Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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