the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
