I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
