White coat. Heels.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
