Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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