I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
