im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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