do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
