:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize