Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
