I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She told me I should be a condom model.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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