if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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