This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
