the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
