i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
