I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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