I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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