Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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