I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
