I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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