my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
