When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize