Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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