we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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