Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize