Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
