Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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