Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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