Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
