So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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