why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Shitshow foam night was such a success
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
