She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Randomize
