wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
