He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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