i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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