We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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