and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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