i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
