It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
