nut hugger
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
