hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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