She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
