Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
