I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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