Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
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I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
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Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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