Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love having hate sex.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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