So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
