I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
