even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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