i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
