Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
