woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
