he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
