oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
